You say you want a resolution 2015

Hey All,

Looking back on 2015 I must say I was over all pleased with the year, I stayed busy,never once found time to feel bored and I made some new friends. Too many funerals this year and its taken its toll . I had the honor of being a witness for my friends wedding (any excuse to wear my kilt and drink in a pub) I rode my bike 100 miles ,hiked the Chubb trail with friends and walked all of Grant’s trail on my own.
The lesson I learned this year  was not to over do it, sometimes I push too hard and this year I loss ground regaining my strength.
So as far the new year what are my resolutions??
I’m keeping it simple and I am following the four agreements as my compass for the new year.

 

“The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. ”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
 I actually right these down every morning at work as wait for my computer to boot up, just that simple.
I wish everyone a happy new year and I hope it’s a year that you believe in yourself and act on your dreams.

Peace and Love

Welcome to the Casbah: A Beatles ghost story

 

 

Hey all,

 

If we can agree that ghosts are shadows of the past, then I have what I feel is a ghost story to share..

My wife and I decided to makeover our basement from sunny yellow to dark red walls with a black floor,give it the feeling when you walked down the stairs you were walking into a night club or an old movie theater. I spent the next few long days getting up at dawn and working after everyone had gone to bed. In between breaks I had finished reading a very detailed book on the early days of the Beatles and in particular the Casbah club.

In the summer of 1959 Mona Best , the mother of soon to be trivia answer Pete Best opened up her cellar to the young people of Liverpool as a coffee house and a place to hear bands play. When Pete’s pals failed to show up his young friend George Harrison invited his pals Paul McCartney, John Lennon and Stuart Sutcliffe to play. The boys became regulars there jamming all the time and at Mona’s request they pitched in and painted the place. The room still stands today as Beatle landmark of their early days before they kicked Pete out for their pal Richie and moved to the Cavern, but that’s another story.

Around that time the Beatles managed to put out a recording called “Cry for a Shadow” an instrumental that was a poke at the popular band The Shadows..

So all this is going through my mind as I paint away, and its getting late so I put down my brush for a cup of coffee and sit back to take in my work. I picked up a near by electric guitar unplugged and started to work out how to play “Cry for a shadow”.  Now the song is not much of a challenge but Johns part did not sound right and I know that the other guys use to laugh at his chord fingering because he would make broken ukulele/banjo chords his mother Julia taught him. I tried some simple variations and came up with “the Lennon Chord” ..no sooner than I found out it I started to feel odd. Now its 2am the house is quiet and I’m feeling something like stage fright all alone in my basement.

The room appeared to be getting darker and crowded with people milling about, I saw all of these people looking at me waiting for me to do something, my room was gone and I was in The Casbah.  I was overwhelmed with how much I did not belong here and that I was trespassing through someone else’s memory.

I could smell sweat and dampness of a much older basement and when I released the chord the room was filled with thick shadows. I slowly got up and headed down the back hall to my studio and put the guitar away. I was filled with dread at the notion I now had to turn back up the hall to the stairs.

My hallway felt claustrophobic, thick with shadows and just the feeling of being watched, as I climbed the steps. I was so scared I would hear a “scouse accent “ come from a voice behind me.

Once up stairs again I poured myself a coffee and refused to be frightened in my own home, so to prove to at least myself I went down the stairs again and left the lights off and sat in the dark and tried to make sense out of what I had just gone through. Nothing happened, just an empty basement. I turned the lights back on and started painting again. Cry for a shadow was thumping in my head and I started to feel that I was being watched again, It got so bad I said “enough!” out loud and the room was once again still.

Its been several years and nothing more had happened, my daughter received a ukulele from her great uncle and along with it a chord book. I flipped through the pages and there was Lennon’s chord shape just as I had figured out.

I have no explanation for what I went through, tired, paint fumes, head full of stories all a good recipe to mix together and make a haunting. I do know that for as much as I treasure the Beatles work I do not listen or play “Cry for a shadow” anymore..that feels too much like trespassing to me.

Peace and Love

Self pity is bullshit

 

Hey all,

 

There’s so many ways we mess with ourselves, but none come to mine that due more damage than self pity. What we need from time to time is someone to hold up a mirror to us so we can (to quote Bob Dylan) “ see what a drag it is to see you coming”! 

When I was lonely teenager on my road to becoming a lonely adult, I spent so much time self loathing everything about me that I did not notice what an amazing ass I was becoming. My main sport of choice was to spread some more gloom. The truth can hurt and be painful,but self pity is just a lie we make up and tell ourselves until we make it true. The cool dark people I read about in books or saw in films were most likely a real kill joy to spend any time with. Yes they do look cool in a photo looking out the window with a fucking scarf on in the middle of summer but in real life..wankers!

The moment I quit feeling sorry for myself and took action, my life got better..not easier but I started to enjoy it more.  Life is not fair, good the odds just got a little better I decided.

Someone once said tell a Zebra on the brown plains of the Serengeti where everything else is brown and your decked out in black and white stripes..about feeling sorry for yourself.

I gained some weight back this summer in spite of all my efforts to be fit, I spent about 5 seconds feeling sorry for myself until I snapped out of it and got my head out of my ass and moved off the couch. My fault, get back to work!

There is always someone who has it tougher than you, a lot more and the best of them never show it. The triumph over the pain, the poverty etc..

I don’t regret much in my life because I try and learn from my past,but if I was going to change one thing it would be all that self pity that made me pass on so many chances because I just felt that I did not deserve to be as happy as everyone else and that my friends is bullshit!

 

Peace and Love

A haunting we will go,the Mcpike Mansion

 

 

Hey All,

So what better way to start off the Fall season then a trip to a real haunted house, in this case the Mcpike mansion in historic Alton, Ill.

The mansion must have been something else in its prime, built in 1869 with 16 different rooms and a lower level basement wine cellar. Even today the building is impressive and the latest in a long line of owners Sharyn and George Luedke are doing their very best to restore it to its former glory. One thought Sharyn had was to make it a bed and breakfast not unlike St. Louis’s Lemp mansion (also reported to be haunted).

The mansion boasts no less than 4 or 5 spirits that have been known to roam the empty rooms and halls of this fading building on Alby street. One spirit is thought to be that of Sarah Wells who when she makes an appearance one can smell lilac’s perfuming the air. Faces have shown up in photographs peering out of windows and footsteps have been heard from the floor above the wine cellar while investigators were the only people in the house.
So with that in mind my wife and I along with our 16 year old daughter drove over to Alton on a pleasant Sunday evening to join a group of 50 photographers and see if we just might catch something on film.

It was warm all day in the low 80’s but it being October I took a jacket with me, we parked across the street and walked over for our first up close look at the Mcpike mansion. A small group of photographers were already there milling about with tripods and cameras strapped over their shoulders. I noticed as well a few folks with ghost hunting gadgets you would see the guys use on TV (my only gadget was a small pink flashlight I bought on sight there from a nice lady who was selling tee shirts and sweatshirts, my daughter picked out a white fluffy sweatshirt and claimed the evening a success right then and there).  I was just approaching the house when I felt an icy cold spot on my back, I slipped on my jacket but it would not go away, a few seconds later I was warm again and had to carry my jacket, not saying supernatural just a moment I noted.

The house is eerie up close, on one of the side walls twisted metal sheets covered in rust were blocking a window and were bent in such a manner that it looked like a great force was trying to escape.  We found a foot path in the back that led to a small section where two slabs stuck from the ground and we were told they were grave markers thought to be of children.
We were allowed to walk into the front door and take a few pictures of open rooms and a stair case, the house is not considered safe to have folks stroll about so we had to content ourselves with this brief glimpse.

 

  Later on after everyone  had their sneak peek inside of the house Sharyn set up some display boards and shared some history and even had an actor come out dressed as Henry McPike give us a quick background on the man, all very entertaining. A lady was introduce to the crowd as a medium ( I also noted she was the lady selling tee-shirts) and gave out some friendly advice of what to expect out of the spirits, things like cold spots or maybe someone tugging at your hair or playing with your earrings (I felt safe on both counts). The medium gave a demonstration on dowsing rods and handed out sets to anyone interested. My wife was handed a set of the dowsing rods ,so we were all prepped and invited to go the basement wine cellar!

 

We were led to the back of the house and through a cellar door, the basement was cool and we took a quick turn and down a few steps to the wine cellar which had a large rusted metal door.
Once inside the wine cellar we all took a seat and the medium said to prepare yourself and we will shut off all the lights.

It was a very strange feeling to be in such absolute darkness. The room was cramped and filled with people yet with the cool air and the darkness I felt like I could have been in a field.
Some people started to see flashes here and there, the medium would announce things like Henry has joined us “say hello Henry” and so on. I was busy being a skeptic, so I tried things like closing my eyes and then open them to see if it caused any flashes etc.. My wife claimed she saw some blue flashes on the ceiling and my daughter who was now holding the dowsing rods felt that someone was trying to pull one of them out of her left hand at one point.
I did see a dull glow move along the left side of me, but it turned out to be a women’s glow in the dark watch face.

I was enjoying the darkness and trying my best to notice anything when a very strong smell of candy like perfume filled the air. No one said anything but it got so strong I spoke up and the lady next to me said she smelled it as well, but no else seemed too. The scent just as quick as it appeared went away, was this this Sarah Wells and her lilac perfume??

A lot of people said things like Henry just walked past me, or I think someone touched my hand. We all got a jolt when a man nearby us had his cell phone light up and we were told they like to turn things on as well as drain the batteries of things.
They turned the lights back on and said feel free to take pictures, soon they were crazy flashes going everywhere and my wife noted that one of her two cameras had drained all its battery life. I took a selfie of the three of us and one two shots of the frenzy of camera flashes.

We walked outside and people were telling me they had caught orbs and mists etc.. from the sessions.

I reviewed all the pictures and nothing jumped out at me, the cold chill I felt at the start I shrugged off, the smell of perfume from the wine cellar was odd. Perhaps the oddest thing to happen to me was I left the house feeling sad, which filtered into my dreams that night just extreme sadness.
I love a good ghost story, but the haunting here to me was that of a bygone era. The people who lived and died at the Mcpike mansion may have left some traces of themselves behind,what will you find when you visit there? A relic, a couples dream of a B&B or maybe you might find one side your body very cold as Henry Mcpike stands next you in what was once his front yard looking up at his home.

Peace and Love all

When you gain weight back

 

Hey All,

I want to share this with you and I hope it helps someone out there. I have had a good year with my fitness and topping it off with completing a century bike ride in September. I have been taking it easy since the ride and giving my Achilles' tendon time to heal. So for three weeks I did nothing, no walking or bike riding,kettle bell etc.. nothing.

Well I did start working on my mother’s recipe of short bread, I got pretty good at that.

 

I also drank a lot  of beer and wine and  told myself I am doing just fine for a 52 year old guy.

My wife picked out a shirt for me and it was form fitting and showed off my recent rewards for all that shortbread and doing nothing! I had gained 13lbs of fat (almost a stone in the UK) in the past two months.

 

So what do you do? You forgive your self and move forward. I know what I did wrong and I let it get out of control. I started walking again this week,this has always been my go to workout. I’m going back to basics and intend to be wearing this shirt instead of taking it back to get a larger size. So today is October 8 2015 lets see how long it takes for me to get back on my path.

We all make errors and fall off the wagon, I was due a misstep but now I’m back on path. Thanks to everyone who reads my posts and I will keep you posted .

 

Peace and love all!

Here be Trolls

 

Hello all,

I have written about “energy vampires” in some earlier posts a more insidious version of these creatures live on the internet and go by the common name of Trolls, because Fuck Face has been over used.

I tend to post things on social network that are inspirational or funny, a grand day arrives when I can find an quote that does both. I have been dealing with a few trolls of late and its funny because I put them down to being misinformed or just having bad taste because I was too naive to think someone could gain pleasure by poking at someone in a cowardly fashion from the comfort of their mothers basement.

A simple example on the ever crowed Facebook someone says name your favorite book, film or song. You write down your favs and a troll would then say “ I tried to read that book but I started to vomit or that film put me to sleep and I demanded my money back. Trolls don’t actually do a lot of reading so that is normally a dead give away. You also will not find trolls watching films with sub-titles (again reading) and most of their taste in music requires a marching tempo not unlike Europe in the 1930’s.

I have been told the best way to handle these Gollum like types is to just ignore them, which might do in some cases. I prefer to lift the rock they hide under and shine the light of facts upon them and watch them scatter back into ignorance and hateful depths from which they dwell.

A particular funny side note, these trolls tend to look the same, crazed eyes with an expression that shouts “ I never meant anything by that , I was just joking” A troll would not recognize a joke if it went to their door and went Knock Knock..(that was joke just now in case any trolls or having this read to them).

Trolls count victories in odd ways compared to lets say people. A troll victory can anywhere from being blocked or removed from Face Book, to stealing a parking space that someone else was waiting for.

Nothing is off limits for a troll except for you proving them wrong and like a bug they go away for awhile but like said insect they scurry back and once again make your skin crawl.

Trolls believe in a world that never really was they refer to as “the good old days”.  In this world it was OK to look down on people and treat them with disgust because of anything that did not fit into the narrow mind that guides the troll.

As a child I dealt with bullies and then I thought well they  will grow out of it sooner or later. I did not at the age of seven have the foresight to see that would not be the case. Trolls. bullies or fuck faces if your prefer will not be going away anytime soon. So you can choose your form of pesticide and good luck in dealing with them.

Trolls here’s a list of things I personally believe in and hold in high regard, feel free to jab away, I have a life to enjoy.

Family, Friends, Dogs, The films of Wes Anderson, the Music of Django Reinhardt,The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, People of all races just want respect, Love does not care about sexuality , Truth over authority , hard work, laughing at yourself, being kind, firm handshakes and welcome hugs, the writing of John Irving, Bike riding, hiking, playing guitar, cooking, crying when I say goodbye to someone I love, being alone in the woods, standing in a crowded bar with friends,binge watching Netflix with my wife,educating myself to lift my self higher,and shortbread cookies!

 

Is there more to life than this? sure there is, go out and enjoy it and when the trolls stick their pointy heads out of a hole, give em a smack it will not stop them, but Its something fun you can add to my list.

Peace and love

My first Century ride

 

Hello all,

I love the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia, its perhaps visual the most beautiful film I have ever seen,but what has stayed with me since I first saw the film was this odd character of T. E. Lawrence who seemed to have something inside of himself that those around him did not possess.

[Lawrence has just extinguished a match between his thumb and forefinger. William Potter surreptitiously attempts the same]

William Potter: Ooh! It damn well 'urts!

T.E. Lawrence: Certainly it hurts.

Officer: What's the trick then?

T.E. Lawrence: The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.

So a few hours before sunrise on 9/12/15 my wife drove me to Alton Ill to meet up with my fellow riders on what was to be my adventure.

My co –worker Jeff had been bike riding with his friends and was really getting into it, he convinced me to sign up for the Bike MS 150 to help raise funds to fight MS. I asked my boss Mike to join and Jeff brought 3 of his pals Lamar, Terrell and Gerald. We even had a well seasoned rider Peter from our Denver branch fly out with his bike to join our team. I had roughly two months to train on my new Trek hybrid bike and I was invited to ride with Jeff’s pals on a 52 mile ride the week prior which was a great lesson in riding with a group.

A century in the bicycling world is a 100 mile ride in one day, I could not help think of Lawrence again as he was told he was being sent to the desert.

Mr. Dryden: Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get fun in the desert: Bedouins and gods, and you're neither. Take it from me, for ordinary men, it's a burning, fiery furnace.

T.E. Lawrence: No, Dryden, it's going to be fun.

Mr. Dryden: It is recognized that you have a funny sense of fun.

 

To me this was going to be fun!

It was a cool morning and we all shared a pancake and sausage breakfast together , I kissed my wife goodbye and rode up to the starting line where the sound system was blasting out Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love..a very good sign.

At 7:30 we took off and I was riding side by side with Mike and we were all smiles,people were cheering us and I was reminded of the people we were riding for  .

I had been training by riding a lot of hills which I thought might help keep me up with the pace of all these road bikes around me, and I just about blew it on the very first hill I was caught not paying attention and a lady stopped in front of me and I was forced to get off my bike and walk up a hill. Wow I was embarrassed and pissed off at once, but I climbed back on and raced to catch up with my team. We saw a rider by the side of the road and found out he had been hit by a car, a brutal reminder that this was no place for headphones and we would to stay focused.

Every 10 miles or so we would break to drink and eat and take selfies..

10, 20,30 the miles flew by and sometimes I would ride in a group or just Jeff and I passing through little towns, corn fields or open highway roads that never seemed to end. Somewhere around the 35 mile mark I started to feel severe cramps in my calf muscles. This was a very scary point for me, I stood up in my pedals and coasted as riders passed by me. The pain drifted off a bit so I continued on.

The stops were welcomed and it was great to see so many cool bikes and we would talk about gear and chat with the different riders, I did not meet one soul that day that was not having the time of their life. All good people.

We had passed the 50 mile mark and one stop was loaded with homemade cookies and fresh fruit, just amazing.

Somewhere close to the 60 mile mark the wind started to kick up, and that was brutal. Then a hill and more wind and a long bit of highway where I found myself riding alone for what seemed like an hour. I spent some time riding behind Terrell and Lamar and was able to drift for a bit while they lead through that fucking wind, and no sign of a stop. The selfies ended and we pedaled through until long last we broke for lunch.

I developed a brand new pain that day  my Achilles tendon in both legs were on fire. After I ate my lunch I took a few pain pills and was told we would in order to get our 100 miles in repeat the last loop we just finished! Now I’m far to poor a writer to explain how upsetting this was too me. Go back to that fucking wind and those two hills seemed beyond cruel,but that’s just what we did.

I felt broken, I started to miss my wife who was at this point sitting in the parking lot waiting for me. I felt so alone it was really strange, I reached deep and thought of every give em hell speech I could muster. I spoke to my Dad who I lost when I was 17 and just really needed this to be over. The wind was winning and I had enough. Terrell told not to think any more about the pain but the fact we only have 19 miles left, I laughed and said I find it rather difficult at this moment to think of anything else but the pain. It helped and we rode on.

On the last leg we had eight miles to go and we could see the Clark bridge in Alton. That last eight miles was nothing but hills and wind and more wind.

I followed Lamar and Terrell into Alton and Gerald rode with Jeff. We made a right turn on to State street and I looked up at this hill that belonged in San Francisco . I groaned and started climbing for about half a block and had to once again get off my bike and start walking up this dreadful hill. There were vans waiting for riders who needed a ride back, people were sitting down and I just had to get over this fucking hill so I could finish this thing. Long last I was back on my bike and riding through the back streets of old Alton, I saw on my bike as I passed the 100 mile mark and I pumped my fist in the air.

I had no idea where the rest of the guys were I thought they might have found another route , but I saw the arrows painted on the road and stayed on the path.

My heart sunk again when I passed a sign saying keep going only 3 more miles!!! 3 more miles and damn if they were filled with hills!

Well long last I was on the last road and I cruised in with hands over my head under the finish line. I got off my bike and a crowd was cheering and I headed over to the beer stand where I drank the best Bud Light in the history of AB. I called my wife and told her I will be there in a minute.

 

The rest of the guys had waited at the bottom of that hill in Alton and rode in right behind me and that was when all the smiles returned.

 

 

My fellow riders:

Mike      Peter   

Jeff      Gerald

 

 

 

Lamar Terrell

 

Peter would return the next day and ride another 100, Mike who had less than a month to train rode 50 both days, just amazing grit.

I will never forget this day and I want to thank my pal Jeff for convincing me to take part in this.

To go back once more to T.E. Lawrence when he was told by so many people that the task he had at hand could not be done for it was written! His reply after proving them wrong “Nothing is written until I write it!”

Peace and Love All

50 mile bike ride! and what I learned

 

Hello All,

Happy Sunday morning, yesterday I decided to ride 50 miles on my bike as soon as the sun came up. In less than 29 days I will be joining some co-workers and hundreds of others on my first 100  mile (Century) bike ride so I needed to do some prep work.

I have been riding on average about 15 miles a day after work and maybe 20 miles on weekends. I have been reading a lot and watching youtube videos just to gather as much info as I can.

Talk around my office from guys who have done the Century to those of us that are novices started to have my head spinning with all the things that could go wrong. I needed some first hand experience so I chose to get up Saturday morning early and take off when the sun came up.

Breakfast: scrambled eggs and a bowl of Markie porridge (see earlier post for recipe) and two cups of coffee.

I knew right away that I did not prepare anything to take with me outside of water but I gambled my big breakfast would get me through. ( I know, I know)

I took off and it was cool and dark with mist floating off the grass on my much beloved Grant’s trail (see post I wrote about this wonderful trail).

A few words about my choice of bike: I ride a Trek 7.0 fitness hybrid which is somewhere between the toughness of a mountain bike and the speed of a road bike. This bike is on the low end price wise of Trek bikes but is well made and fits my budget. You can easily spend a small fortune on your ride and to me your the biggest factor on how well your ride will go.

So back to the actual ride, my bike computer flashes my speed, miles and average speed as well as top speed. This becomes your constant companion  and keeps you honest.

I brought along an MP3 player and decided to turn it on after the 25 mile mark to see if it made a difference.

The trail I ride is 8 miles long and I know every bit of it very well, heading in one direction is a slow climb (nearest my home) and the return trip starts off with a very happy down hill run.

The trail was all but empty with the exception of a few serious runners and hardcore road bike riders who would dart pass me like I was standing still. The miles start to click pass and I worked out little mental plans such as at the 5 mile mark I was now only on a 45 mile ride, now only 33 miles etc..The trail soon started to come to life with folks walking dogs, power walkers, tons of runners and fellow bike riders. People of every age where out there and lots of head nods and smiles from people along the way.

I reached the 25 mile mark and turned on my tunes, the next 10 miles flew by without much notice as I enjoyed my music (and I was on the return trip heading downhill) as I was heading back and the slow climb returned I found my first problem. My legs started to cramp and I knew I was sweating out my electrolytes and had nothing other than water to replace them. I managed to keep my pace over 13 mph but I was pumping my legs on just muscle memory.

On the start of the return trip I would stop for a bathroom break or to stretch my legs and dump water over my head. The temperature along with the Sun were also starting to add to my problems.

So now I only have about 15 miles to go and I have to go up hill and then return and at this point I would beg for a banana or an energy bar. I screwed up and my body was letting me know in a very big way.

The worst section of the hill reminded me of the desert scene in Lawrence of Arabia, and I really wanted to just quit. I was pissed off at myself for knowing better and not doing the basic right thing. I passed a man who was walking his dog and like a good dog owner he was holding a plastic bag with proof that he cleaned up after his pet. The site of it suddenly turned my stomach and I could not shake the image.

I looked at my pace and I riding 15 mph hour but I thought I was standing still, this blew me away I was riding on cruise control . I took the last of my water and took a gulp and then poured the rest over myself and headed home. I new I was in trouble so I rode past my exit just long enough so I would hit the 50 mile mark and turn around .

I got home snapped a picture of my bike computer and posted it to FaceBook, grabbed a quick shower and a smoothie with blueberries and then my bed to stretch out!

So now its Sunday morning and what did I learn?

Pack for your ride: tools, spare tube.

Bring some type of fuel for your energy

The best thing was in spite of my poor decision to not take some fuel with me, I really had a great time, my body this morning feels amazing. I have the joy of accomplishment  along with the knowledge of what I will do with the Century ride coming up in a few weeks.

Peace and Love

Doing Solitary -taking a swim in lake me

Hello All,

When I first chose to become healthy I was so overwhelmed by information I decided to start with going for a walk, so I grabbed my mp3 player and took off. I'm very happy to say within days of my little walks the first smart thing I did was to leave the tunes at home.



I soon discovered my mind was filled with all the conversations and bits of news of the day, a real cluster fuck of information pounding away at my mind. A funny thing happened though as I continued my walks, I found the sounds of nature to be very calming, and for the first time in a long time I started to hear my own thoughts..no TV pundits telling me what to think.

This was all very new to me and I was approaching the early stages of meditation and was aware it was having a very profound effect on me.

My early walks were very structured, I would walk out 20 minutes from my door and turn around there by getting in 30 minutes of walking plus ten minutes of fat burning. I was and continue to be a guinea pig trying new experiments every month. My walks now have no agenda other than quiet time to ponder and be as far away as I can from my desk at work.

I have also become a big fan of bike riding, I try and get in at least 10 miles a day and much more on the weekends. Bike riding has opened many doors to my peace of mind. My body is being pushed and my spirit as well. Each hill I climb is a question of do I have what it takes to make it and when I do succeed it carries me on to the next challenge.

A good example of this for me as I was riding an overcame some bastard hill and I was sucking air but still feeling proud of my achievement , I thought how close I was to giving up and yet dug deep and made it through. So I soon started to apply this thinking to every difficult problem.

All you really need is a quiet spot to sit,I prefer to be on the move but whatever works for you. The main thing is to unplug from all the bombardment of information and give your self time to think and reflect. We live in a world of 24 hour news and every jackass feels the desire to spin every story to aid their cause or destroy anothers.

These results I cherish came about by finding some time to be alone with my thoughts. Its a wonderful feeling to not give a damn about what other people think of you, or what people would say if you were to try this project or that idea.

Be true to yourself, take a step away from work,family,friends and listen to your own beliefs and act on them.

I feel like a better man to my family and friends as well as my work because I have found doing a little solitary can be fine company.

Peace and Love

I am an Empath

Hey all,

Always on the path to understanding why we do what we do I stumbled across (as I always  do in my clumsy manner) the term Empath, that is to say someone who has empathy for  others. So let me get out of  my lotus pose and stop hugging my tree for a few minutes and fill you in on what I discovered about Empaths.

If this sounds like something out of Star Trek than your not wrong, there was episode back in the 60's with Kirk and the boys about this empath stuff. Very strange Penny Lane but  here's what I already knew about myself.

1. Everything is intense with my feelings.

2. I can tell when someone is lying.

3. I feel  joy at the thought of some people just walking into a room and equally  repulsion of other people.

4. I worry about other people being OK more than myself.

5. I need to be alone to recharge myself after being in crowd for too long or with negative people.

6. I laugh and cry very easily.

7. Music, film , books are all very powerful and stay with me  for a long time.

8. I have people in my life I love with all I have no matter how long I have known them.

9. I want to help solve everyone's problems.

10. I see all life as important and with a reason for being.

The list goes on and on and I just never had a name for it.

I write this blog to not only share my insights but to figure myself out as well. So what have I learned in the past 50 years or so? I have learned that all along I knew I was different from a lot of people around me and I also now look at it as good thing. I may hurt more (airport goodbyes are like death for me) but the day to  day joys are so over the top I can't complain. The loss of a dog will stay with me my entire life,but so will the joy it brought.

I can't help thinking of that moment in Highlander when Connor feels the "Quickening" and is aware of everything. I no longer hide my emotions although I do try and curb them and not hug everyone I see, (no one needs that guy around).

My favorite complement I get is "your different"! I know there are a lot of you out there that will understand this right away and guess what, my hunch is your an empath, the folks that shake their heads or don't care please skip down to my basement gypsy video of Kubla Khan and I hope you enjoy the tune.

I am a very happy person who feels connected with everything around me, if you know me a little I'm thinking I know you a lot. Its just how it is with me..

Peace and Love

The gift

Hello All,


There is a wonderful story  that I have heard told several different ways ,but  the basic story is at a small school in Africa the children are bringing in gifts for their teacher.

 One at a time a child would walk up in front of the class with a wrapped present and the teacher would thank them and kids would clap as each gift was unwrapped and the nicer gifts got more claps.

 One boy walked up with a shell and handed it to the teacher and said he picked it special from the far end of their village.
 The teacher knew of the area and was aware of the dangerous cliffs the boy would have had to climb to reach the path to that side of the beach.

 She looked at the boy and asked why would you go so far and risk hurting yourself when there's plenty of beautiful shells right here on our beach? 

The kids laughed and the little boy hung his head as he said "Teacher, the trip was my gift for you!"


  

The world is hard and cruel and filled with selfish people, but it is also filled with beauty and wonder and kindness like this child that thought up this wonderful gift.

Peace and Love

Wear what you dig!

Hello all,

Happiness,( just like everything else worthwhile) has some work involved.


Some basic things I do to stay on my path!

1. I set goals all the time.

2. I allow for things to not work out and quickly adapt to a back up idea.

3. I quit wasting my time on anything that does not add value to my happiness.

4. I no longer try to plan out fun, or recreate a moment. I live in the now!

5. I don't concern myself with what other people think, its none of my business.

6. I no longer deal in "what ifs" I deal with "what is" I will leave all the fear mongers to the media.

7. I don't hate on myself.

8. As much as I can talk, I try and listen as well.

9. Energy Vampires are not allowed in my circus!

10.  I always have something else to look forward too.

My own mind is my best friend and worst enemy, so I do what I can to not let the weak, jealous and lazy side rise up and ruin what should be a good day.

Make the choice to be bold and brave,  be happy and to help others. Don't hate, Don't blame.


Peace and Love all

A year of challenge!

Hello All,

So it looks like this is a year of challenges for your humble narrator.  I  have been trying  to find little things along the way to challenge myself like drink more water or park as far away as I can from my office,but now I have gone full throttle!

My year now looks something like this: 

August: a midnight ramble 25 mile bike ride through St. Louis at night.

September: a 100 mile bike ride to support MS in Illinois.

October: I will enter my first Tough Mudder competition 12 miles of mud and obstacles to challenge your physical and mental state.

So all I have to do now is get myself as prepared as I can for these different challenges, and I have a plan!

I quickly noticed that I'm not a runner or jogger , ok I walk a lot but at my own pace and that will have to step up (pun ).

So this week I started walk/jogging my goal being about 2-3 miles, I can not think of reason why I would need to jog any further than that at any given time. This is what I have discovered so far.

1. I need to learn how to breath when I jog

2. I have muscles in my thighs that I was unaware of until this morning when I awoke.

3. there is nothing graceful about me when I jog..yet

I also know that anything is possible if you stick with it, how many people quit playing guitar because of the F chord?!

This might be my mid life crisis or maybe turning 50 woke me up to the fact that there is more to life than working and sleeping. I don't mind muscle aches from working out, I do mind aches and pains from not using my body.

I will post more as I go along at this time I can jog for about 1 minute maybe two...I am just starting and like a friend recently said to me "your a man who makes things happen". I like that thought that I am the one in charge of what I do.


Peace and Love all

Choosing Alpha!

 

 

Hello All,

 

On reflection I’ve wasted a lot of my life in a Beta mode of being quiet and not wanting to speak up at the risk of offending someone or disappointing someone else. The result being I became the nice guy with low self esteem who over ate too find some type of reward and watched my health decline at an absurd rate. It is very easy to get into this safe way of living, no one can hurt you. Soon you find you feel nothing at all and you become like a robot following a set of orders.

If you have read any of my previous posts I’m very proud of the fact I chose to change, too become the person I want to be for myself. If this comes off as bragging than fair enough I’m bragging, I pulled myself out of a fucking nose dive! Here’s the thing so can you.

Speak your mind

Follow your heart

Form a vision of just who you want to be

Be brave, if your not feeling brave than fake it, no one can tell the difference

Understand that you do matter and have value

If you see something that is wrong than do what you can to correct it

If you see something positive than reward it and share with others

Being Alpha is not to be a rude jerk, it is though to be the best version of you

Bullies are not alpha they are weak jackals that speak only with a pack behind them

Ignore the people who try to stop you on your path and they will be plenty of them

Toss open the door to fear and step over the threshold and you will find what the bold knew all along…nothing is what you thought it would be

Never feel sorry for yourself, fix your problems that you can and learn to deal with the issues that can not be resolved and keep moving

Life is not fair and so what

Take action

Work hard, play hard

Today, right now is all you have, no promise of tomorrow and yesterday is not coming back

Challenge yourself

This is all we have folks, make the most of your life, embrace the people you love, share kindness and understanding and know that the other half of the balance is to be bold.

Peace & Love

 

 

 

Results of drinking water 30 day challenge

 

Hello all,  its not been a full 30 days yet but so what, why wait to tell you good news?!!

Well I’m sold on the idea that I was not drinking enough water. I’m down 8 pounds or so and I’ve lost almost 2 inches off my belly.

The thing that really made an impression on me was a glass or two of water took away my cravings for a snack after my 8pm cut off of solid foods.

If your drinking water throughout your day then good for you, I personally was not so it has made a good difference for me. In just a few weeks water has become a staple for me ( took long enough for me to understand that).

So if your not drinking water as you go about your day I would give it try and see if you get similar results as I did.

I don’t have an exact number of how many ounces I drink, I just make sure I have some water near by and drink over the course of my day.

So drink it up its the stuff we are made of!

Peace and Love

 

 

30 day challenge-drink a gallon of water a day

Hello All,
Time for me to experiment with another health tip that's been around forever but I never tried. Drinking a gallon of water a day!

On Average the human body is made up anywhere from 55% to 78% of water and that alone is of interest to me if I am not getting enough water daily.
A quick search on the internet will bring up loads of information on why we need to have water as a staple from boosting our metabolism to flushing out fat.
My interest is the amount in question, in the past when I would read statements like you need to drink 8 glasses a day,  well that sounds a good deal like the marketing dept for companies that sell bottle water. Myself I have been drinking for the most part coffee,almond milk, homemade smoothies and wine for the past few years.
Not so much on the plain old H2O.
I figure with the veggies I eat I’m getting my water etc..but I also have taken note my body has not improved much the past year, my weight has stayed off, I am working out on a regular basis so lets see if extra water helps out!
So a few days ago I started drinking a big glass of water through out the day, I started out by exchanging a cup of coffee for a tall glass of water. I’ve read that all kinds of wonderful things happen if you add some fresh lemon slices to your water, I will try that as well at some point.
So I wanted to share what’s happened in just the first few days..
My energy is up, perhaps all that running to the bathroom.
I’m eating a bit less, I always drink a large glass of water before a meal.
The best thing so far and this may be the important thing for anyone with late night cravings..The other night my wife and I came home from an early date night and I’m sitting around thinking a snack in front of the TV sounds real good,but I try and not eat after 8pm. The craving was really strong so first thing I did was drink some more water, went in the other room looking for something and after a few minutes I found that the craving had passed!
Now to me that alone is a big deal, so for now on when I feel the need to snack out comes the water bottle.
I checked my waist measurement as well as my weight and I will report back in a month and let you know how it turns out.
Drink up!

Peace and Love all

Film review: Into the Wild

 

Hello All,

 

Something a little different I wanted to share a film with you all that I find to be very important. Into the Wild is a 2007 Sean Penn film based on the true story of a young man who after graduating decides to go on an adventure ala Jack London and reach his goal of Alaska. Christopher McCandless gives away his money and hits out on the road determined to live one day at a time.  Sadly he makes a fatal mistake and it costs him his life. The film is a tribute to Chris and tries to show us the world through his eyes.

I have seen the film perhaps three times now and it haunts me..the scenery and music along with an excellent cast just makes for a wonderful film.

You can debate about the mistakes he made or if he was selfish or cruel to his parents for not keeping in touch. What I take away from the film at least, is a story of a person filled with a wonderful giving spirit. The different people who spent time  with the actual Chris McCandless all seem to see something special in him.

I find it hard to express in a few words the feeling of joy I get, but he gives me faith in people.

Do your self a favor when your in need of something more than the daily rat race , check out this film and step Into the wild.

Peace and Love

Reshuffle the deck

 

Life is not fair, it never was …and so what are you going to do about it?! I don’t know of anyone myself who has it easy. I know a lot of people who on the outside have everything going for them but once I got to know them ,well time and time again I learned that they shared the same mind set.  These people who seem to get life understood that no matter what cards they were dealt, the game was only beginning.

 

My mother told me that when we moved to America and were invited out somewhere she would be so nervous,but my dad would enter the room like he owned it. Dad would say “ I feel like James Bond” and he would take on the role for the night until it became second nature.  Now to be honest my dad was a lean and handsome guy with a Scottish accent ,but he figured out too Americans that made him different and he played it up.

That’s my parents on the far left.

 

Myself, I’m short and bald and look dreadful in a suit, I look more at home on a loading dock than I do at a cocktail party.  So I play that card…and I have adapted my strengths over the years to overcome what I consider my flaws.

Anyone of us can take control of the cards.

Now change is tough, which is excellent, because if you are willing to change or adapt than you will be for ahead of the rest of the great unwashed who or too lazy or lack imagination.

I work for a company that helps customize wheelchairs for individuals, so over the past twenty years I have met some amazing people who most would say were not given a good hand of cards.  Just this week I picked up a co-worker at the airport who was in a wheelchair and her independence and strength inspired me all day.

She has a sparkle in her eye and our sense of humor clicked , her attitude was life is going on and I don’t want to miss any of it!

I can list my flaws all day long, and if you know me I’m sure you could some more to the list. I don’t believe in perfection but I am a very big  proponent of improvement from within.

Every day is a chance to add too yourself esteem,  so instead of having the Monday blues find ways to make Monday work for you. Change the deck in your favor, make Monday night the best dinner of the week or make that date night.

Today's rant is in short  Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same!

 

Peace and love

My Book of Cool

 

Hello All,

 

A few years ago on my FaceBook page I decided to do a shout out to folks I know who impress me in some fashion. I took the title from a line in the film Dusk till Dawn when George Clooney’s character as a bank robber tells his hostages to remain quiet and they will all be in his “book of cool”! I love the line and I borrowed it right away.

I found great pleasure in doing so it turns out, how simple an idea to tell someone in your life that they matter and at times they really stand out to you.

I stopped doing it for awhile because I did not want it to become a click or some type of bullshit contest of your cool but she is not, but I missed doing it and it makes me feel  good to stop and high five a pal or hug a person.

I admire people who get it, fly their freak flag ,walk against the crowd,stick too their guns no matter what anyone else thinks.

If you think something is of value that shout it out or don’t …wear what you dig brother.

I have a soft spot for writers of any type who can put down a thought on paper and make it a novel or lyric.

I admire anyone who goes on a stage to perform and really sells it! 

I admire people who work with their hands and create something.

I greatly admire people who have the ability to make every day you see them a better day.

I was also floored by some of the responses I got back from my friends , very powerful stuff at times.

So why share with your pals and family just how important they are?!  I bet you have some cool friends out there that have no idea how much they rock.

It can be a path of joy and wonder  with birds singing, it can be dangerous or lonely stretch  where no one calls your name…The only thing I know for certain is at the end of the road is black dog hungry and expecting us… so until then I’m taking one day at a time with a little help from my friends.  ..Now who’s next in my book of cool??

Peace and Love all

Body in motion

 

Hello All,

Just a quick note about not giving up…ever! I often have long days of pressure from working in the corporate world (my choice so I’m not bitching)  and during the day in my mind I think “boy when I get home I will ride so far ,work out etc..” and then when I get home my mind shifts to what’s for dinner or turn on the TV and tune out. This is the time you need to rethink too what it feels like in a mind numbing meeting or endless emails to respond to and how you wish you were outdoors.

So as an example the other night I rode a fast six miles on my mountain bike, so good cardio for a bit and when I put my bike away I was passing my kettlebell and felt there was no way I could face swinging that beast of pig iron tonight. I went inside took a look around and thought how long is my kettlebell workout in real time? So back out I go, still breathing heavy from my ride and I picked up the bell and started swinging it.

To my great surprise I felt very strong and my breathing soon switched to this workout of different muscle groups. I felt energized and sleep well that night feeling accomplished.

When you set realistic goals and keep your word with yourself its just a great feeling.

So reward yourself, make a plan and stick to it.

Peace and love all

When no one else is watching

 

 

Hello All,

There is a moment, a very precise second when the axis of the Earth changes its tilt and you see in a different light.  

If you have a personal trainer or a coach it is admirable how much you get done and your work effort,but  the people I ‘m thinking about are the ones out there all year long in all types of weather fighting for their health. I wanted to reach that next level of thought that drove these people.

Dedication to a set task is part for some people, I need to be fit for a wedding in six months or a wrestler or boxer must make weight for a match. The  long sometimes lonely road when no one is cheering you on or even watching you is what I speaking of. It is so easy to just say why bother or not today…most of us know that well. I have discovered by endless attempts and paths that the reason why they do what they do is ,the pay off is amazing.

 

Just some  observations on how I feel when I workout and when I don’t.

Workout and eat healthy:

My over all feeling is better, I feel rewarded for my efforts every time I take the stairs and my chest does not hurt. I love when I try on new clothes and I have to go down another size because of the fat I lost. The great sense of accomplishment when I set out to say bike ride 15 or 20 miles and I not only do it,but I do it with grace.

Skip workouts and ignore what I eat.

I feel bloated and tired, as well as disgusted with myself. I feel hungry and crave more junk food. My body gets rundown and I get sick more often. My sleep suffers and I feel tired though out the day.

Clothes are feeling tight and uncomfortable. I feel overwhelmed and my mood sinks into depression.

So when I see people working out in whatever form they choose and they are all alone with just their thoughts, well now I get it. I get why they push when so many other people give up or never try.