Here be Trolls

 

Hello all,

I have written about “energy vampires” in some earlier posts a more insidious version of these creatures live on the internet and go by the common name of Trolls, because Fuck Face has been over used.

I tend to post things on social network that are inspirational or funny, a grand day arrives when I can find an quote that does both. I have been dealing with a few trolls of late and its funny because I put them down to being misinformed or just having bad taste because I was too naive to think someone could gain pleasure by poking at someone in a cowardly fashion from the comfort of their mothers basement.

A simple example on the ever crowed Facebook someone says name your favorite book, film or song. You write down your favs and a troll would then say “ I tried to read that book but I started to vomit or that film put me to sleep and I demanded my money back. Trolls don’t actually do a lot of reading so that is normally a dead give away. You also will not find trolls watching films with sub-titles (again reading) and most of their taste in music requires a marching tempo not unlike Europe in the 1930’s.

I have been told the best way to handle these Gollum like types is to just ignore them, which might do in some cases. I prefer to lift the rock they hide under and shine the light of facts upon them and watch them scatter back into ignorance and hateful depths from which they dwell.

A particular funny side note, these trolls tend to look the same, crazed eyes with an expression that shouts “ I never meant anything by that , I was just joking” A troll would not recognize a joke if it went to their door and went Knock Knock..(that was joke just now in case any trolls or having this read to them).

Trolls count victories in odd ways compared to lets say people. A troll victory can anywhere from being blocked or removed from Face Book, to stealing a parking space that someone else was waiting for.

Nothing is off limits for a troll except for you proving them wrong and like a bug they go away for awhile but like said insect they scurry back and once again make your skin crawl.

Trolls believe in a world that never really was they refer to as “the good old days”.  In this world it was OK to look down on people and treat them with disgust because of anything that did not fit into the narrow mind that guides the troll.

As a child I dealt with bullies and then I thought well they  will grow out of it sooner or later. I did not at the age of seven have the foresight to see that would not be the case. Trolls. bullies or fuck faces if your prefer will not be going away anytime soon. So you can choose your form of pesticide and good luck in dealing with them.

Trolls here’s a list of things I personally believe in and hold in high regard, feel free to jab away, I have a life to enjoy.

Family, Friends, Dogs, The films of Wes Anderson, the Music of Django Reinhardt,The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, People of all races just want respect, Love does not care about sexuality , Truth over authority , hard work, laughing at yourself, being kind, firm handshakes and welcome hugs, the writing of John Irving, Bike riding, hiking, playing guitar, cooking, crying when I say goodbye to someone I love, being alone in the woods, standing in a crowded bar with friends,binge watching Netflix with my wife,educating myself to lift my self higher,and shortbread cookies!

 

Is there more to life than this? sure there is, go out and enjoy it and when the trolls stick their pointy heads out of a hole, give em a smack it will not stop them, but Its something fun you can add to my list.

Peace and love

My first Century ride

 

Hello all,

I love the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia, its perhaps visual the most beautiful film I have ever seen,but what has stayed with me since I first saw the film was this odd character of T. E. Lawrence who seemed to have something inside of himself that those around him did not possess.

[Lawrence has just extinguished a match between his thumb and forefinger. William Potter surreptitiously attempts the same]

William Potter: Ooh! It damn well 'urts!

T.E. Lawrence: Certainly it hurts.

Officer: What's the trick then?

T.E. Lawrence: The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.

So a few hours before sunrise on 9/12/15 my wife drove me to Alton Ill to meet up with my fellow riders on what was to be my adventure.

My co –worker Jeff had been bike riding with his friends and was really getting into it, he convinced me to sign up for the Bike MS 150 to help raise funds to fight MS. I asked my boss Mike to join and Jeff brought 3 of his pals Lamar, Terrell and Gerald. We even had a well seasoned rider Peter from our Denver branch fly out with his bike to join our team. I had roughly two months to train on my new Trek hybrid bike and I was invited to ride with Jeff’s pals on a 52 mile ride the week prior which was a great lesson in riding with a group.

A century in the bicycling world is a 100 mile ride in one day, I could not help think of Lawrence again as he was told he was being sent to the desert.

Mr. Dryden: Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get fun in the desert: Bedouins and gods, and you're neither. Take it from me, for ordinary men, it's a burning, fiery furnace.

T.E. Lawrence: No, Dryden, it's going to be fun.

Mr. Dryden: It is recognized that you have a funny sense of fun.

 

To me this was going to be fun!

It was a cool morning and we all shared a pancake and sausage breakfast together , I kissed my wife goodbye and rode up to the starting line where the sound system was blasting out Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love..a very good sign.

At 7:30 we took off and I was riding side by side with Mike and we were all smiles,people were cheering us and I was reminded of the people we were riding for  .

I had been training by riding a lot of hills which I thought might help keep me up with the pace of all these road bikes around me, and I just about blew it on the very first hill I was caught not paying attention and a lady stopped in front of me and I was forced to get off my bike and walk up a hill. Wow I was embarrassed and pissed off at once, but I climbed back on and raced to catch up with my team. We saw a rider by the side of the road and found out he had been hit by a car, a brutal reminder that this was no place for headphones and we would to stay focused.

Every 10 miles or so we would break to drink and eat and take selfies..

10, 20,30 the miles flew by and sometimes I would ride in a group or just Jeff and I passing through little towns, corn fields or open highway roads that never seemed to end. Somewhere around the 35 mile mark I started to feel severe cramps in my calf muscles. This was a very scary point for me, I stood up in my pedals and coasted as riders passed by me. The pain drifted off a bit so I continued on.

The stops were welcomed and it was great to see so many cool bikes and we would talk about gear and chat with the different riders, I did not meet one soul that day that was not having the time of their life. All good people.

We had passed the 50 mile mark and one stop was loaded with homemade cookies and fresh fruit, just amazing.

Somewhere close to the 60 mile mark the wind started to kick up, and that was brutal. Then a hill and more wind and a long bit of highway where I found myself riding alone for what seemed like an hour. I spent some time riding behind Terrell and Lamar and was able to drift for a bit while they lead through that fucking wind, and no sign of a stop. The selfies ended and we pedaled through until long last we broke for lunch.

I developed a brand new pain that day  my Achilles tendon in both legs were on fire. After I ate my lunch I took a few pain pills and was told we would in order to get our 100 miles in repeat the last loop we just finished! Now I’m far to poor a writer to explain how upsetting this was too me. Go back to that fucking wind and those two hills seemed beyond cruel,but that’s just what we did.

I felt broken, I started to miss my wife who was at this point sitting in the parking lot waiting for me. I felt so alone it was really strange, I reached deep and thought of every give em hell speech I could muster. I spoke to my Dad who I lost when I was 17 and just really needed this to be over. The wind was winning and I had enough. Terrell told not to think any more about the pain but the fact we only have 19 miles left, I laughed and said I find it rather difficult at this moment to think of anything else but the pain. It helped and we rode on.

On the last leg we had eight miles to go and we could see the Clark bridge in Alton. That last eight miles was nothing but hills and wind and more wind.

I followed Lamar and Terrell into Alton and Gerald rode with Jeff. We made a right turn on to State street and I looked up at this hill that belonged in San Francisco . I groaned and started climbing for about half a block and had to once again get off my bike and start walking up this dreadful hill. There were vans waiting for riders who needed a ride back, people were sitting down and I just had to get over this fucking hill so I could finish this thing. Long last I was back on my bike and riding through the back streets of old Alton, I saw on my bike as I passed the 100 mile mark and I pumped my fist in the air.

I had no idea where the rest of the guys were I thought they might have found another route , but I saw the arrows painted on the road and stayed on the path.

My heart sunk again when I passed a sign saying keep going only 3 more miles!!! 3 more miles and damn if they were filled with hills!

Well long last I was on the last road and I cruised in with hands over my head under the finish line. I got off my bike and a crowd was cheering and I headed over to the beer stand where I drank the best Bud Light in the history of AB. I called my wife and told her I will be there in a minute.

 

The rest of the guys had waited at the bottom of that hill in Alton and rode in right behind me and that was when all the smiles returned.

 

 

My fellow riders:

Mike      Peter   

Jeff      Gerald

 

 

 

Lamar Terrell

 

Peter would return the next day and ride another 100, Mike who had less than a month to train rode 50 both days, just amazing grit.

I will never forget this day and I want to thank my pal Jeff for convincing me to take part in this.

To go back once more to T.E. Lawrence when he was told by so many people that the task he had at hand could not be done for it was written! His reply after proving them wrong “Nothing is written until I write it!”

Peace and Love All