Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The good the bad and the ugly (the voices in my head)

 

 

I have set myself up for failure many times. It took my wife to teach me a simple but very powerful lesson of “start as you mean to continue!!”. This was a game changer for me.

I have written in earlier posts about this idea and it needs to be repeated often,well at least for me.

No sooner then you come up with a gran plan for yourself your same mind that dreamed of this adventure starts to plot against you. Your too old, young, ugly ,poor, weak , you never did it before, you’re a quitter  etc.…Not really sure why I have had a fear of success ,or why my inner self felt safer in the background. To very honest I still feel that way very often, the difference is how I act.

I believe in choice of my own feeling above everything else. If you can master your feelings, take control of your vessel through the mire of the dark sea that life can feel like, then you win the game. If I feel like giving up then I must except I alone am to blame for this. Never because of the circumstance. In my quest to no longer be a fat man, and by all means this is JRR Tolkien like journey for me every day, I keep having to reach deep and get through whatever the challenge is.

I’m a quiet person overall again by choice,but I will not be wronged. I bend for other peoples opinion without voicing my own often because I have nothing more to offer other then an argument which I always feel is a waste of time. I think in time the truth always comes to the surface.

So back to my topic of these voices I have and I deal with them. My father taught me that prejudice does not hold up to the light of the day when exposed. I use that when I challenge my own thoughts. Simply I address the voices of descent.

Is it true what I think?

Will this event actually happen?

How do I know it will fail?

Have I done everything in my power to succeed?

I challenge any ugly thoughts I get, I question where did this stem from? Sometimes I’ve picked up someone else’s fear and made it my own fear.

The bad thoughts come in when I not only want to quit but I want to just surrender and give up ever trying.

It took me about three years to get it into my head that I must eat right and I must workout on a regular basis. This is elementary logic but I could not fully grasp. Always ,always something would creep into my head telling me to give up.

James Allen wrote that we are a sum total of our thoughts, so if your in jail or president of the school board or waiting on tables your thoughts delivered you there. I love this thought, this brings me to the good thoughts.

Change your way of thinking and you will change your life….real simple. If you make a fist or hold out your hand to welcome its up to you. No one else should have control over your thoughts .

I decided I like being in charge of my own thoughts, first thing I did was to question every thing I heard on the news, then politics and religion . I wanted to know my own thoughts not someone else with an agenda. I slowly started to feel a weight come off of my shoulders (and off the scale). I will always question everything I hear and then find out for my self. I know of hardly anything that is just black and white.  I post little quotes that inspire me and reread them, not unlike how some people reread the bible for comfort and wisdom. I remind myself why I want this goal, why I am on this adventure.

I will continue to ramble on writing these thoughts and I hope to inspire anyone looking  to improve themselves. I not sure if I can or will help anyone I do know it helps me keep my eye on the prize!.

As always please drop me not if you have any questions.

Peace and Love all!

No comments:

Post a Comment